Recently Jade and I were approached by BBC Radio Bristol, they asked if we’d fancy being on Dr Phil Hammond’s Saturday morning show to talk about homebirth and hypnobirthing. As midwives we’ve always got plenty to say about birth, plus we thought it would be a good opportunity to plug the business so we thought why not, lets give it a bash!
After the show we headed back to Jade’s for a cuppa and a chance to listen back to the interview and rate ourselves. Now I have to admit my first thought was – Oh my god, do I really sound that Bristolian?? Cringe! “Well of course you do”, said a fellow midwife colleague, “you’re a Bristol lass, be proud of your heritage!” (cheers Martha!) She’s right I guess, and I find that the Bristol lass in me comes through really strong if I’m looking after a fellow Bristolian in labour! I just can’t help it.
Now I know we should avoid stereotyping people, but you know the ones I mean. The down to earth locals, from big families, all living within a few streets of each other and have done for generations. Often these women will rock up on labour ward in full blown labour with their mum, sister, nan, aunty, cousin, sister in law, all clambering at the door arguing over which two will be the birth partners. Loitering somewhere in the background is a bloke, the baby’s dad, looking a bit sheepish, knowing that now is the time to just do as he’s told, cos this giving birth malarkey is ‘women’s business’.
Once the baby has arrived after a straight forward, quick labour, I’ll hear myself say to the new mother – “Aww, well done, ease lush mind inny!” Now the translation for that would be – “Oh congratulations, what a lovely baby boy you have!” The woman seems chuffed, in floods the rest of the family to meet the baby and I find myself in a room full of ‘true, proper’ Bristolians – lovely people! Its great, no need for a translator cos we all understand each other.
So if any of you non Bristolians find yourself in the company of a pregnant Bristolian lass and you’re not familiar with the slang, here are a few phrases translated for you that might help –
Eye aint jew til chews dee – My baby is due on Tuesday
Armaugh add ate vus – My mother had 8 children
Bleed nell urts, my loud sumut? – These contractions are painful, can I have some gas and air now please?
Scummin!! – The baby is on its way!